Once upon a time there was a little boy called Donald Humptytrumpty. And Donald, like all little boys and girls, wanted more than anything else to be happy. He was a lucky little boy, because his Daddy worked very, very, very hard, and gave him lots of pennies for his pocket money.
Now, Donald’s most favourite place to be was the beach, where the sun shone, the sea sparkled and there was lots of sand to play with. Because Donald had lots of pennies he was able to buy lots and lots of buckets and spades, so he built lots of sandcastles. He started with little ones, then built them bigger and bigger and bigger. The other little boys and girls on the beach loved the big sandcastles, and gave Donald their pennies, so he would build them a sandcastle too. So Donald got lots and lots and lots more pennies by building sandcastles. So many pennies, in fact, that he had more pennies than anyone else on the beach.
But it didn’t make him happy.
So, Donald decided to leave the beach and go and see what was happening in the big school playground. He knew that Bo would be there, so he went to see what Bo was doing. Now, Bo had been in the playground a lot and all the little boys and girls there were his friends, because he was clever, and very kind, and played nicely.
Now it just so happened that that day, when Donald arrived, Bo was stood at the top end of the playground, you know, the end where it slopes up to the bikesheds so it’s easy to see everything that’s going on. And all the little boys and girls were watching Bo. There were so many boys and girls that the playground was full, fuller than it had ever been before. And Bo was talking to everyone. He said he was going to be headmaster, and would make sure that everybody would be looked after properly, and no-one would ever get poorly again, and that because the school was so big the little boys and girls from the school next door could come and visit, and that would be good too, because they knew lots of interesting things and worked very hard. And he said he would make sure the teachers were good, so the children would learn lots and be happy.
And Donald thought, that looks like something that I would like to do. Being top of the big playground would make me happy. I could stand in the playground like Bo and everyone would listen to me and I’d really feel good about that.
So Donald went to play in the big school playground every day. He tried to make friends with the little boys and girls. He promised to give them lots and lots of toys if they would play with him. And because boys and girls like toys a lot of them liked Donald’s promises. But some of the little girls didn’t like Donald, because he would try to pull down their knickers, and when they ran away he said they weren’t pretty any more. So the little girls got very cross with Donald.
One day, Donald decided he had made enough friends. He thought he had so many friends that it was his turn to stand in the top corner of the big school playground, and tell everyone what he would do when he was headmaster. So that’s what he did. But Donald was a grumpy boots. Donald said the boys and girls in the school next door were nasty, very nasty, so they wouldn’t be allowed to come and play any more. Donald said he didn’t care if anyone got poorly. Donald said the teachers were no good.
But Donald was happy, because he’d looked at the big school playground and thought it was full, very full, of little boys and girls who wanted him to be headmaster.
But he was wrong. The playground was only half full, not full full like it had been for Bo.
So Donald wasn’t happy any more.
Donald was jealous of Bo. Donald said, to everyone in the whole wide world “Nya, nya nya, my playgound was fuller than Bo’s playground”. And the whole wide world was a bit surprised, because they’d seen the photos. All the little British boys and girls thought Donald should have gone to Specsavers.
But the little girls, the ones who didn’t like having their knickers pulled down, knew why Donald’s playground had been empty. It was because they’d all gone to play their own game in their own playground, all wearing their pretty, bully woolly, knitted, pink pussyhats. And the girls’ playground had been full, fuller than anyone’s playground had ever been. In fact their playground was so full and so big it needed the WHOLE WORLD to hold it.