The Nasty Swedes

It was very late in the evening, and it had been a very busy day for Mr Humptytrumpy at his Beach Hut by the sea in the south.  Mr Humptytrumpty sat in his big, comfy chair, with a tray on his lap, eating Lancashire Hotpot and watching his favourite TV channel.

The Hotpot was very good.  The TV blared away in the background.

Suddenly, Mr Humptytrumpty sat bolt upright.  What was that?  On the TV?  A BIG headline:

Swedes Revolting

Too many Swedes cause BIG PROBLEMS in Europe

“Hmmmm”, thought Mr Humptytrumpty, lifting the spoon to his mouth, “that proves it, Europe’s a BAD place, BIG problems, BIG problems there”

He glanced down at his spoon.

“What’s that?” he shouted.  “That’s a Swede!  What’s a Swede doing in MY Hotpot? Swedes are causing BIG problems in Europe.  I WILL NOT HAVE SWEDES HERE!”

“Tuppence! TUPPENCE!” he shouted, as loudly as he could, “come here RIGHT NOW!”

Mr Two-pence-short-of-a-shilling, the Assistant Headmaster, came running up the back stairs as fast as he could.  “OMG, what now?” he thought.  “Yes Headmaster?” he said.

“I will NOT have SWEDES in School” spluttered Mr Humptytrumpty.  “They’re in my Hotpot, look, look at my spoon!  It’s a SWEDE!”swedes_bad

“Turnips, TURNIPS!”, shouted Mr Humptytrumpty, his face getting redder and redder, his bouffant hair bouncing around, “TURNIPS, that’s what we want, TURNIPS!  Tell Cook, tell Cook only TURNIPS are allowed in The Big School”.turnips_goodAnd he threw his lovely, tasty Lancashire Hotpot out of the window.  It nearly hit Nigel the Caretaker who was passing below with his cat, Piers.

And what did Tuppence do?  Tuppence said nothing, just crept away, silently, to have a quiet chat with Cook.




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