Little Effie was puzzled. She was standing at the top end of The Big School playground, you know, the end where it slopes up to the bikesheds so it’s easy to see everything that’s going on, and watching, quietly, as she often did. She was puzzled by the strange procession heading out of the School Gate.
Leading the way was Meals on Wheelsclosely followed by Education,
and, skipping along behind, The Arts.
“What’s going on?” Effie asked Maurice Minor, who was watching too, “Where are they all going?”
“Reprioritizing,” he said.
“Re-what where?” asked Effie.
“Where? Gone. It’s Headmaster Humptytrumpty’s Deep Cuts,” replied Maurice, “old Humptytrumpty said that he must ‘Reprioritize Big School spending so that it advances the safety and security’ of The Big School”.
“Which means?” asked Effie.
“Which means all the good stuff has to go,” sighed Maurice. “No more meals on wheels for your granny. Education gone, the Arts gone, and look, now the Environment’s being wheeled out too. Old Humptytrump says he’s not paying for any of them any more.”
As he spoke, Foreign Aid and Global Development left the school, hand in hand, kicking a root vegetable along in front of them.
“Foreign Aid and Global Development gone too! The rest of the World will HATE us,” said Effie. “And a swede?” she puzzled. “What’s wrong with swedes?” (Headmaster Humptytrumpty dislikes nasty swedes, you can read about it here. )
“OH NO!!!” sobbed Effie, pointing at the school gate. “LOOK, LOOK!!! There’s Big Bird leaving. NOT BIG BIRD TOO?”
“Fraid so,” said Maurice sadly, “Big Bird goes too.”
“Sorry, scuse me,” Maurice shouted as he ran off, “I gotta go, Humptytrump’s new, very, very special, state of the art, high tech saving equipment’s just arrived at the gate, and it’s to be delivered to him PDQ.”
Dear reader, I am very sad to say that the pupils of The Big School are very upset, as all their well loved and much needed good stuff has to go so Headmaster Humptytrumpty can save lots and lots of pennies.
But Headmaster Humptytrumpty doesn’t mind. He is smiling a big, big smile as he puts penny after saved penny into his new, big, blue, shiny, just delivered, state of the art, piggy bank.