*Trump outsources war on drugs to Philippine government*

The Hooting Times

President Trump has broken a key campaign promise to ‘buy American, and hire American’, by outsourcing the war on drugs to the government of the Philippines.

President Rodrigo Duterte has reportedly been offered a multi-billion dollar contract by the Trump administration, with instructions to ‘end the scourge of illegal drug use, by any means necessary’

When asked why an American company could not do the job, Mr Trump replied:

‘The politically correct fake news media won’t allow me to throw people out of helicopters, so I have to get a foreigner to do it’

‘CNN should be ashamed of themselves’

‘And so should the failing New York Times’

At a press conference in Manila, Mr. Duterte had some words of warning:

‘Drug dealers of America. I would like to offer you a free helicopter ride. If you refuse, I will get on my motorcycle and pay you a visit in…

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